May 2012
police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude
layersoflife:
yepperoni:
do you guys remember that episodfe of the magic school bus where the class gets transformed into fish eggs and get fertilized with fish semen
GODDAMNIT CARLOS
My friend made a website with my picture on it... →
beyoncebeytwice:
i completely disregard the food pyramid because it was probably built by slaves just like all pyramids and that is offensive
9 tags
Roses and Thorns
roses: My old dance studio is going to be on America’s Got Talent! tomorrow!
thorns: I found out at 10:30 tonight a 6-page paper I thought was due next week is due tomorrow at 9AM.
roses: I just found out I got a scholarship for $3,000, and another one for $500.
roses: I have the FKi mixtape from the Iggy show to get me through tonight.
madeagoestohell:
happy mothers day to the best mom in the world:
1 tag
Tonight was incredible.
I held Iggy by the waist and helped her offstage, and danced on stage, and kissed the ring.
I’ll share more once I’m a little less *drowsy*.
I feel like I’m bursting. I don’t really know what’s coming, but stay tuned. This is a good thing. This is a beautiful thing.
30 tags
my newest monologue
from For Reasons That Remain Unclear by Mart Crowley
[[MORE]]
PATRICK
I said, listen to me, goddamnit!!! dirty old man! A filthy old pervert in a costume! ask your God why He permitted you to be the first person to teach me what I thought was love?! Love! For the first time in my life! And for the last time in my life! You should have never begun it! What has love meant to me ever since?...
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All-Nighter 5AM Stretch
12 tags
I don’t take anything as seriously as I do sleep.
Anonymous asked: Vodka or whiskey? Or neither? Or both?!
Anonymous asked: What is your favorite candy?
Anonymous asked: What is your greatest fear?
It rings too true.
April 2012
Honesty Hour →
Click on through to ask me some questions before I get to bed, I want to introduce myself to my new followers!
12 tags
allyouladiespopyopussylikedis:
dj
please
pick
up
yo
phone
im
on
da
request
line
27 tags
Ron Dennis, the original “Richie” in the original Broadway production of A Chorus Line, came into our rehearsal of the same show today and talked to us. Beyond a couple quotes, I can’t even sum up the insight he gave us, but it was a kind of awesome experience.
30 tags
I always just remember that everybody has to buy Charmin - everybody has to wipe...
– Ron Dennis
27 tags
Be the CEO of your own life.
– Ron Dennis
caraknightley:
raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are one of the reasons i have trust issues
I got into a fight with a squirrel today.
I hope you all know me well enough by now to know I am in no way stretching or exaggerating, and if I catch that bitch again thinkin’ he’ll get away that easy next time bitch has got me wrong.
jankyass:
Blue Ivy’s diapers are filled with better material than anything we got on Roman Reloaded.
You know what sucks?
Getting out of rehearsal at 11PM, and it’s raining, and you have to walk 20 minutes home, and everybody else has found a ride, so you’re stuck walking with the most obnoxious person in the cast because they have an umbrella and you have to make conversation with them while ducking down six inches to fit under their umbrella and pretend to like them.
that uncomfortable moment when you buy yourself a fat-ass brownie to help emotionally cope with losing $350 to overdraft charges and then finding out on the last bite that it was a mistake and you actually only lost $30
15 tags
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rough
So today I had a rough patch.
I somehow got all 17 of my classmates upset with me at the end of our class for getting them in trouble, and then within the same five minutes I lost $350+ for overdraft services because the ATM didn’t…
…whatever. I was pissy, but now I have a sandwich, and I’m listening to Send Me On My Way, and this kid recognized me from this gig, and...